It has been awhile since I posted. I having been living ‘In the Now’. Self-resourcing, supporting others and accepting support too. My Mom had a stroke at the beginning of January. My Stepdad called me late one night to ask if she has any allergies because they were wheeling her into surgery. It was a surreal conversation.
What I know, is that he saved her life. He didn’t assume that she was just talking in her sleep. He turned on the light to see what was going on and quickly noticed the warning signs of a stroke. She couldn’t move her left leg and when he asked her to smile, the left side of her mouth was drooping. The only risk factor she had was smoking but she had quit a few years ago at the urging of my Stepdad.
It has been difficult to process. I had a belief that my Mom was the healthy one. She was the one that took care of my Dad and me with all our health issues.
While sitting across the country, hoping for the best and waiting for updates, I couldn’t help but pull out this letter that my Mom wrote in 1973. She sent it to a couple newspapers but I don’t think it was ever published.
In honor of my Mom (and with her permission) I am publishing her letter, in 3 parts.
Part 1
My second pregnancy was going well. Tom and I were anxiously awaiting the birth of our second child. In a way I looked more forward to having our second child. Elisabeth has been such a beautiful and wonderful addition to our life and we had no reason to believe anything could go wrong with this baby. I had more confidence this time around and was so prepared. The baby was due on February 25th. What I was not prepared for was my membranes rupturing on December 10th (over two months early) and all that followed.
We had put Elisabeth to bed and we turned in early ourselves. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I knew something was wrong. I called my Doctor and told him that I was having unusual discharge. He told me to come into the office first thing in the morning. In the office the Doctor told me and Tom that my discharge was the water which surrounds the baby, the embryotic fluid. Normally a woman will go into labor soon after her membranes rupture. The Doctor said that at this point, if the baby were born, it would weigh less than 2 lbs. and would have only a slight chance of survival. The baby’s lungs had probably not developed fully and would be the main cause for trouble. We were told to go home and the Doctor ordered complete bed rest in order to try to hold off labor as long as possible. I took antibiotics daily to lessen the risk of infection to the unborn baby.
We were terribly upset, of course, and it was so hard not knowing what was going to happen. I followed the Doctor’s orders. I knew that the longer I could take care of my baby inside of me, the more weight it would gain and the better its chances of survival would be. I felt like a time bomb; I knew that labor could start at any time. I felt alright physically, so it was hard not to be active.
At the time Tom was on sick leave, recovering from surgery on his knee. He had spent a total of six weeks in the hospital because of complications - thrombosis and infection. Once he was finally released from the hospital he still had a great deal of pain, but, was able to get around with the help of crutches and a full cast. Even with his handicap he was able to help out with Elisabeth (our two year old) and do just about everything that had to be done around the house.
We spent a quiet holiday season, we waited and nothing seemed to be happening. The baby was active and each kick was reassuring. Twice I had false labor pains and was sent home from the hospital to continue our wait. At last on January 26th the real pains started. We took Elisabeth to my Mother’s and went on to the hospital. The Doctor met us there. He felt that we should try to hold off a little longer, so I was given alcohol intravenously, which will sometimes prolong or even stop labor. The hours passed and things did stop. I was upset; I was tired of waiting, but as it happened my labor started up again, this time full force. Everything started to happen quickly. I was taken to the delivery room after my epidural had taken effect. Tom joined me there - our waiting was finally over.
Little Mary was born, weighing in at 4 lbs. 2 oz. and I was told that she was fine. My relief soon turned into fear again. I was taken to the recovery room. It had been a long hard labor and I was so tired. I was awakened by Tom, he had been with Mary. The Doctor in the nursery had met with an obstruction in Mary’s throat while clearing out the mucus. Mary was being transported to Children’s Hospital and Tom signed the papers and had seen her off. It was not until the next morning that I knew what was happening.
So sorry to hear of your family challenges. I occasionally check in on a whole host of Newsletters including yours. I hope that writing and sharing helps you through. A wonderful example for many to explore their feelings.