Myself
It’s been over six months since I posted. I broke the commitment I made to myself. I was going to write my blog, work on my mindfulness certification and support my son for his last year of high school.
Two out of three, not so bad?
I got hung up because I was denied disability, my mom had a stroke, my dog had a mast cell tumor, I have a complicated cyst. I’d rather tend to my garden, enjoy the summer, focus on my physical health and help out the United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation.
I still don’t know if I have a mitochondrial disease. Yet this group has been nothing but inclusive. I have been an ambassador for the last couple years. Although I have been stepping back, in a way, to brace myself for whatever (if ever) a diagnosis finally comes.
Maybe it is VACTERL and the etiology of the cervical dystonia is from the cervicothoracic scoliosis and costovertebral anomalies with degenerative disc narrowing. Yet dystonia is from the brain not structural.
My dwelling on the possibility of a unifying diagnosis is holding me back. Trying to sideline the fact my father went through a similar but more devastating medical journey, is holding me back.
Not today, today, I took a step forward and wrote in my Substack.
To my readers, thank you for letting me purge and your patience as I continue to build my inner resilience and self compassion.
Gratitude to all friends, family, my mindfulness class, RAIN partner and medical professionals on my journey.